I Really Hate That I'm Nikita's Christmas Warrior This Year!

Truly, I am, I just hate it. Do you want to know the biggest reason why I hate it? It's because I was his Christmas Warrior last year. I mean seriously, one whole year and it's just the same as it was when it ended last December. I follow the chatter from people who work with and are adopting through Reece's Rainbow, although I'm not myself. And, I've never heard one person even mention his name since last November. How long had he been listed before then, I don't know, could have been longer. All I know is since then, as far as I've seen, nothing. The majority if not all the money in his adoption fund was the money that was put in when I was his Warrior last year. He doesn't even have a new picture like a lot of the other kids. It's almost like he doesn't even exist, except that he does. I wasn't going to be a Christmas Warrior this year. I got too wound up last time, I felt bad when things weren't going as well as I had hoped. I took it personal. I thought I'll just donate money to him myself and that's it. Well, the more I thought, I realized that if I'm going to give him something anyway, and that's a given, then why not give it just a little effort. Wouldn't I be a good person for the job since I have some history. So, I made myself a promise, that I hope I can keep. This year, I'm letting it go. I'm doing what I can, praying that it's successful, and taking it out of my hands. So, here I am. I figured this is the least I can do for a little guy who can do nothing for himself. And, if I get a little frustrated sometimes, too bad. I really don't have much to complain about. So, here I am. I will be honest with you, last year I wasn't even too worried about him. He was still one of the younger ones, I was more concerned about some of the others. But now, the clock is ticking to his 4th birthday where he is at risk of transfer from the orphanage to an institution. A lot of the kids die soon after transfer. Will he be transferred right at 4, or will he perish if he is? I don't know. But, I don't like thinking about it. Since this is going on the second year I feel wrapped up in his story now. My daughter knows his picture and talks about him. How can I let that happen. This year, I'm worried. So, if I do a little too much or get a little long winded, bear with me. I'll try to be good and I thank you for sticking around. I'm hoping this will be the last year I will have to do it.